A league of their own

John O’Farrell on the dearth of English players in the Premiership, following Arsenal’s all-foreign efforts this week:

This week, another football landmark was reached when a Premiership team fielded an entire squad of foreign players. “What is Arsene Wenger doing?” said the pundits. “I mean, OK, so Arsenal are 4-1 up, but they completely lack the homegrown talent of their opponents … Oh, hang on, now they’re 5-1 up.” In fact, it should have been six but we’re stuck with these useless English referees. “Where oh where are the top British players?” asked a fan at half time, sensing that he vaguely recognised the bloke serving him a reheated hotdog.